The Mis-Education-

What You Want Might Make You Cry & What You Need Might Pass You By if You Don't Catch It
And What You Need Ironically Can Turn Out What You Want to Be if You Just Let It!

So while I was riding home the other night, I wanted something to soothe my nerves, but couldn't find any peace in my usually CD rotation of Jeezy, Kanye, and Weezy. So I reached back for my old CD case and pulled out the old Lauryn Hill CD- The Mis-Education of Lauryn Hill. I immediately skipped to my favorite song on that CD- When it hurts so bad! Lol to say the least it hit my emotions on the head. When it comes to love, I tend to get an unusual end of the stick! I won't say the short end of the stick because I am not sure its the short end...in fact I don't know what end of the stick you would call it. I do know that as a young black woman--it is all to frustrating to try and meet young men who are down to earth, thoughtful, and compassionate people. Perhaps this is not the experience of all young black women, but for my immediate circle of friends it is the case. Anyway--often when you meet intelligent young black men..those with the 4 year degree, and perhaps even enrolled in graduate school, they feel they deserve it all and they expect you to put up with it all. They have a perception that they are the cream of the crop- which they may very well be- but being the cream of the crop doesn't make it okay for you to treat people like the bottom does it? I don't think so...This got me thinking about black women and black men in regards to love and relationships. You know I watched the special on CNN about black America last month, and couldn't help but be a bit annoyed by what they had to say about black women. So yes over the years statistically speaking we are going to college in high numbers, we are more likely to have children before marriage, we are more likely to develop serious health issues ( yikes particularly HIV according to that special) we are over worked, over-stressed, over-weight, and over-determined as well by popular point of view, and too used to doing it all ourselves! Well this wasn't exactly encouraging to the gender or race, but the sad truth(thought its not all sad is it). We are going to college in high numbers- so what are we supposed to stop? No--lets have more black males join us! We are more likely to have children before marriage, but we don't make babies on our own. Granite its a 2 way street and the woman is responsible on her part, but still she didn't make it alone! We are more likely to develop health issues- is health care truly accesible and better yet as a culture do we emphasize healthy living? Over-worked- do we have a choice not to be? Over-stressed- what do you expect, we deal with it the best way we can. Over-determined- ya dang right! As for doing it all ourselves- so what should we wait for somebody to do it for us? Don't get me wrong all black single women are different. Some may be a little stuck on themselves, but not all of us! A lot of us are just trying to figure out how to make it! According to that special close to 40% of black women over 35 (I believe they reported) aren't married where as only well under 20% of white women are still single at that age. Of course they went on to say this was mostly due to the fact that a hefty portion of the black male population is in jail or financialy unstable or don't have a desire to be married. Then there is growing population of homosexuals as well as bi-sexual black males. I MEAN REALLY- what is a black woman to do? I won't even get on the reported number of black men that openly admit to cheating in relationships because they feel that there are more than enough women who are willing to be the other woman..yes willing to be the other woman (which is NEVER really any fun, not matter how many gifts or sweet nothings he tells you)! I can't buy that we should dull ourselves down just to find a dedicated brother. But obviously the current practices aren't working all that well either. Again a true optimist- I believe true love exists- I guess you just gotta know the fine line between mr. right for you and mr. right now & mr. right according to what society wants you to think ;)